Thursday, January 30, 2025
Eulogy by John Rovetto
Let me tell you a story of love, faith, resilience, and the workings of the Holy Spirit. In the early 1950s a young woman approached a priest at a retreat and inquired about becoming a nun. Normally that would be met with great enthusiasm by a member of the clergy. However, this priest knew a key fact about her background which caused him to hesitate. He knew that her boyfriend had just been killed in the Korean conflict. He wisely advised her that it was not a good time to make that decision and to wait at least a year. Before that year was up, she was invited by her high school girlfriend, Santa, to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. Others in her situation might have turned it down due to a sense of resentment, but this young lady was not like that. She couldn’t imagine denying her friend the joy of that day. It so happens that her friend’s fiancé had invited his cousin to be an usher. This cousin had just returned from the same war and had the misfortune of receiving a “Dear John” letter while overseas. His name was John E. Rovetto and that young lady, Antoinette Esposito, made a special connection like never before. You know the rest of that story.
What can I say about Mom? She is a remarkable person. I say IS because I believe that she is still with us. That would be the communion of saints as expressed in the creed that she recited at least every week of her life. The only difference now is that I will have to do all the talking when we communicate. I will miss her animated and detailed style of storytelling.
In the words of John Lennon, “Life is what happens when you’re making other plans.” My Mom’s life was characterized by many unexpected plan changes; some mere inconveniences and some tragic as the beginning of her story.
Mom often mentioned that when she first got married, she had every intention of being a homemaker only. She did take on some typing work on the side as she was a trained and accomplished typist. She used those skills to type many secret dossiers for the CIA in Washington, D.C., where she was working when she met Dad. Mom and Dad moved to a house right across from Saint Mary’s School and Church in Dumont, NJ. They were very active in the parish community, and at the time there was a shortage of teachers at the school. Someone proposed hiring a person with no educational background to teach a class and Mom felt she could do a better job. That started Mom on her next unplanned quest. With 3 children, for 7 years, she attended night school at William Paterson University to earn her education degree.
That began her teaching career where she touched many lives positively. When word got out about her passing, the accolades poured into the social media like a tidal wave. So many of her former students hailed her as one of the best teachers they ever had. Some considered her a mentor. I remember in later years, visiting her at home and answering the door to a group of eighth grade girls who had come to ask her to clarify an assignment. Without the slightest hint of being inconvenienced she came to the door and enthusiastically engaged them. I couldn’t imagine going to a teacher’s private home unannounced when I was a kid. That's how comfortable she made people feel.
Mom always liked to tell people that when she and Dad retired, they were going to travel a lot seeing the sights and visiting family. Although they did a good amount of travel before retirement, tragically, those plans were not to be. With very little warning, her husband was lost to cancer at the young age of 60. A tragic blow like that would destroy some people’s lives. Not Mom. After a period of mourning, she reset her course and bounced back. The first thing she did, some would consider odd. Up until that time, everybody called her Toni. She requested that from then on, she wanted to be addressed by her birth name Antoinette. Then she did something I would never think of. To stay active, she joined a square-dancing club. She did not remain in it for long, but I sense the activity must have helped her relieve the stress of resetting her life. Mom also met a group of women who studied angels and she began collecting angel statues which filled her house. She continued touching lives through her teaching for a while and she finally retired and sold the house. In the last 20 years she did lots of traveling and enjoyed her family, especially her 4 grandsons. She prayed the Rosary often and for a time attended a Padre Pio prayer group.
Her ability to be life giving to all around her was a recurring theme in her life and I would encourage each of you to joyfully carry that life into the world.
So, in closing, I will paraphrase what I said for my father 35 years ago: Thank you for coming and for HER sake carry on.
